'Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice'

In cinemas March 25th!

Hands up if you've ever been to see a film without having read the book.  Yep, that's a lot of us.  Hands up if you've ever been to see a comic book film and have never read a comic.  Yep, lots of us again.  Well, sorry, but if you go and see 'Batman vs Superman' you're screwed.  In fact, considering that I was watching this film with a self-confessed Super Geek and at times he still had no clue what was going on, you're possibly screwed regardless.  It's one of the most disjointed, indecipherable blockbusters in a long time that is played out with arrogant, adrenaline heavy bravado.  Working out what on earth is going on is a lot like having a conversation with a very attractive, but very drunk high school meathead.  

The sense of anticipation I had at the start of the film dwindled within minutes into confusion and then plummeted into downright indifference.  Arguably you shouldn't be thinking "meh" when the fight scene that has been billed as the punch up of the year is being duked out on the screen in front of you.  That's not to say that the 'Batman vs Superman' barney didn't contain pleasing CGI.  It was a short, reasonably perfunctory affair that was done no justice by the 90 minutes preceding it and still left you somewhat confused as to how you got there.  It wasn't a justifiable rumble in the jungle so much as a petulant grudge match.  What immediately followed the fight was also meant to be the emotional linchpin of the warring duo's reconciliation, but was utterly facile, saccharine and unbelievable.  I don't expect to have my bottom lip quivering when I watch a comic book film, but I do want to feel some empathy with the characters in the moments that count.

And that's the point.  Because most of the film was so desperately disjointed it was hard to grasp the characters' real motivations and gain any sense of connection.  When the crunch of the film came I wasn't that bothered, especially considering that this film is a butt-aching 150 minute trailer for all the other films in the franchise and you know that's not really the end.  But unlike your average 3 minute trailer 'Batman vs Superman' doesn't have a helpful Voiceover Man telling you who's who, who you should be rooting for and what's going on and why.  Instead you're left to puzzle through on your own because even your adjacent Super-Geek is getting stuck.  

"Hey Super-Geek, is Batman dreaming or hallucinating now? 

"I have no idea."

"Why are we in a Mad Max type desert and what are those things?"

"Still no idea."

I love comic book films.  Marvel's films are colourful, dynamic and full of witty conflict and camaraderie.  DC films are the perturbed and pessimistic counterpart.  The irasicble good guys fight with neurotic force more than finesse and only Wonder Woman provides any light relief. 

There's definitely themes you will get (all the mega wealthy are mega nuts or prone to going mega nuts mega quickly) and religious and terrorism tropes aplenty.  But that's about it. Because of the need to cram everything in the actors felt underused. Cavill is chiselled, Eisenburg isn't truly enabled and the women, well they look pretty and/or need rescuing and sympathising with until Wonder Woman weighs in.  She actually has one of the best moments of the film.  Super-Geek leant over the me and said "chills!" when she leapt up to the plate. And that's no mean feat when you are fighting a wannabe Orc that's just birthed itself from an amniotic sac. Overall it feels more like an outline for film that was meant to preview half a dozen other different films that unless you are an avid comic book reader you are not going to get.  If you are going to see this film and aren't very familiar with the DC comics either read up or take a geek.  Or wait for the GIF of Affleck thumping a tyre with a sledgehammer.  It'll be on the internet within a week and will tell you all you need to know.   

Review by Jayne Thorpe.

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